We all have two faces. One is our true authentic self, known only to you and your inner circle. The other is for the outside world which is the outcome of our worldview. They together form a wholesome balanced individual. Sometimes the balance goes for a toss and that is when the mayhem begins. When the inner and outer worlds are at war we begin to lose sight of our abilities, potential, strengths and everything becomes clouded. We get further and further away from our true self and let others take over our identity and define us as per their own perspectives.
In my twenties, I thought I was making the smartest decisions. I lived and trodded on different paths with reckless abandon. Meh! I will figure it out. I really didn’t care what people thought of me. At one point, there was so much talk behind my back that I reached the pinnacle of giving a damn. I was never the crowd pleaser or tried to be fake – failed miserably even when I tried. I was a silent introvert, observed everyone, choosing my inner circle carefully. Not that people were dying to get in but I cared two hoots what they wanted. I don’t think I didn’t care out of bravery or because I was supremely confident. I just gave up. I blocked them out before they could reject me I rejected them.
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