The recent death of Chester Bennington got me thinking – that how many of us truly understand what ‘Depression’ is? How does it feel? There is a huge difference between being ‘Sad’ and being ‘Depressed’. We use the term ‘Depression’ so loosely every time something uneventful happens in our life. Sadness most often has a reason – but sometimes ‘Depression’ – doesn’t! It might be so frustrating and confusing to not be able to pinpoint a reason. If you don’t know the issue how can you fix it? Depression is a dull, gloomy, grey feeling which hangs over your head no matter how much you try to shake it off. Every time someone commits suicide especially a Celebrity, the topic of depression becomes a global issue. I am glad that it creates awareness – we absolutely need that! Although, each one of us should take more responsibility in our everyday lives.
I experienced Depression just once in my life, where I received some unpleasant news about my mother’s health. If someone gave me a million bucks to describe how I was feeling, my words couldn’t do justice to it. It’s a strange feeling – a feeling of being standstill, drowning in a hole where the sounds around you are muffled, everything else is a blur. The worst feeling in the world is waking up in the morning and feeling like there is absolutely nothing to look forward to. You feel absolutely NOTHING. The best food feels tasteless, the funniest moments don’t make you laugh, you are out with your friends but you are just physically present and mentally your mind is in a fog. Some days you feel good and think that “Phew! I am out of this dark place!” but then the feeling of nothingness and hopelessness creeps in slowly and drags you down. It doesn’t announce its arrival. There are no evident physical symptoms but a slow, listless, dull, grey and empty feeling. You try to cry but even tears refuse to corporate and provide you any relief. Can you imagine a life with no hope?