Marital Problems? Marriage Counseling Can Help!
There are certain subjects that you just don’t want to talk about due to certain unpleasantries: embarrassment, questionable content, differing opinions, and many other reasons that can make you feel uncomfortable. However, when it comes to marriage, there are a few subjects that you should talk about and address directly if you want your marriage to succeed. Often, we’ll avoid these subjects until the last possible moment, when they blow up in our faces. In this post, we’ll examine some touchy subjects in relationships and explain how marriage counseling can help with each.
Poor financial management is stressful on your own, but in a marriage, it is an early indicator of possible divorce. A study published nearly a decade ago found that married couples that said they had financial agreements once a week were nearly one-third more likely to get divorced than those that had those types of discussions less often. Money is something that no one likes to discuss – especially since many feel like talking about how much money they have (or don’t) is embarrassing. When expectations regarding money aren’t discussed, this can lead to spending habits that one partner doesn’t like, misalignment on budgets, or missed financial goals, like saving a certain amount for an upcoming trip, a new vehicle, or even your child’s tuition for university.
Marriage counseling can be a healthy and safe forum where finances between partners can be discussed. The counselor can help the couple identify the key issues that cause conflict in discussions regarding money, and also help improve their communication skills to extend beyond these discussions. The marriage counselor can also help both parties work together towards a spending plan that appeases both sides. Alternatively, a credit counselor can be consulted for money or budgeting queries.
Religion and Values
Discussing religious beliefs can be difficult with anyone – even your partner. Arguably, politics are considered easier to talk about over religion and faith. However, if one of you feels strongly about the role that religion plays in your life, it can cause a rift in the foundation of your relationship if you do not discuss your expectations, beliefs, and how you expect that role to be featured in your children’s lives, if you are looking to start a family together.
One thing you can do is meet with a religious counselor, who can help you navigate your relationship issues through a faith-based lens. A secular counselor can help you address any religious issues that you may be facing as well, as they should respect your religious beliefs.
Another difficult subject to broach is the physical aspect of your relationship. No one wants to talk about what goes on in the bedroom inside of it, much less with other people that are outside of it! That’s your private time, after all. However, if your sex life isn’t going well, it can have an impact on your marriage. Perhaps one partner is perfectly happy only being physically intimate every so often, but the other partner assumes that they aren’t sexually desirable, and so they look for attention from other people. Maybe you aren’t attracted to your partner anymore. Or your sex life has faltered after you’ve experienced an affair.
You might be able to fix these issues by talking to a marriage counselor and figuring out the root problems behind the lack of intimacy. If you’re looking to restore some spark, they can help you come up with solutions, e.g., date nights once weekly, or spending more quality time together doing physical, up-close activities like dance classes, indoor climbing, or a yoga class.
You would be hard-pressed to find a marriage free of mistakes. And just like in any relationship, we want to focus on the present and move on from any fights, embarrassments, disagreements, or anything that may have been perceived as a mistake. However, it’s hard to let go of a grudge, especially when you feel like it’s unresolved. And we almost never want to bring up the past.
A counselor can help you both by letting you air your grievances in a healthy manner and within a safe environment. The counselor should remain neutral through any arguments you may have. They can certainly help you come to a resolution together and mediate in any conflict. Don’t feel like you shouldn’t bring up something that’s been bothering you because it’s in the past. Counseling can help solve future issues by resolving past ones that are at the root of current problems.
It’s Between You
Counselors are bound by an oath of confidentiality, where they can’t discuss anything that is talked about in these closed-door sessions with anyone except the clients themselves. This makes marriage counseling a safe and private place to discuss any problems you have and address subjects that may be uncomfortable.
There is no shame in meeting with a marriage counselor to enhance or to try to repair issues in your marriage. You owe it to yourself, your partner, and your relationship to work towards a more harmonious union that you had envisioned at the start.
Author of this Guest Post: Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.