Heard a rumor about yourself which made your blood boil? Find out how to deal with Rumors!!

If you have ever been subject to nasty rumors, you would know that they are more than just a juicy piece of gossip. There is a huge difference between rumors and gossip. Rumors can be extremely damaging to a person’s mental and emotional well-being. Gossip is just entertaining news, often not intended to cause serious harm. I was subjected to very nasty rumors all throughout high school. It started off as idle gossip which snowballed into a major web of lies, with exaggerated details, gory descriptions of imaginary situations which just turned into an ugly mess.

I was way too young and immature to even understand what hit me. I have never spoken about this before except to my near and dear ones. After a point, it just became impossible for me to go and clarify it to everyone. It just spread like wildfire. It altered my personality and haunted me for the longest time. It affected my confidence and I kept my interaction limited to a very few people. Whoever I spoke to or wherever I went, I felt they all knew about the lies spread about me and are judging me away to glory even though they probably weren’t even thinking about it. I could not enter a room with my head held high without the fear of being scrutinized. Fortunately, I found rock-solid support in my family and friends and that pulled me through.

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Rumors can be extremely detrimental to people’s careers, lives, confidence, relationships and their reputation in society. They follow you like your shadow. Almost no one cares to find out the truth because the rumors are so juicy and entertaining. They are often started by a person who can’t accept the truth, is bored, insecure, who is extremely unhappy in their own lives, out of jealousy or just for pure sadistic pleasure. Sometimes even out of fear of their secret becoming public – they want to get to you first before you get to them.

How can making up stories about others make one look better in any way? If nothing, you are only creating a bad cause. After being judged, called names, hear people whisper, I determined to never judge someone based off something I randomly hear and never participate in spreading it to even one other person.  

How to deal with Rumors?

  • Clarify it with your loved ones first. That’s half the battle won with them on your side.
  • Don’t let the rumors define you. If you know who started it – confront that person. They usually least expect to be confronted. 
  • Don’t hide, don’t be embarrassed, don’t be scared to enter a room, look them in the eye and be normal. When you don’t give them power over you, they get bored. It is not fun anymore and it defeats their entire purpose.
  • Be calm and try to shed light on your side of the story. Although, don’t keep high expectations as it only happens in the movies, where you get this huge chance at redemption on a public platform. Just focus on your near and dear ones
  • Be nice to whoever tries to bring up the topic. Don’t get extremely defensive and shoot down the messenger. Your personality, nature, reasoning and the way you handle the situation will change the minds of people. Good people see the good in others too. Trust me these people are the ones you want to hold on to.
  • Sometimes not acknowledging, giving importance or paying any heed to it works. It dies down and is replaced with some other rumor.

 

It is awfully tough to be indifferent to these rumors. It takes a toll on everything. All your relationships are strained as a result. It took me years to get confident in my skin and not care what others think. In fact, after all these years I finally started feeling compassion for the people who spread rumors because clearly they find happiness in pettiness and live hollow lives. 

Always remember – Yes, you will be swimming against the tide but you will reach the shore. The most important thing is to stay afloat. Best thing is to keep your head up, focus on your own life – your success will shut them up. Success and personal development is the best answer. The same people who spoke ill of you will want to be around you like flies.

It is absolutely imperative that you openly communicate with people who love and trust you. Talking it out and leaning for support is your big ticket to healing. TALK – TALK and TALK! Let your feelings out – isolating yourself will only make it more difficult.

Rumor-Mongers have no backbone, no ethics or principles in life. They are mentally sick in a way. Pity them, they are not worthy of any of your emotions.  We could all learn something from how some celebrities respond to rumors about them. It is not easy always being in the public eye with the media constantly breathing on their neck.

Here is a quote from Hugh Jackman responding to rumors about him being GAY.  “I have a wife and a son, but the gay rumors have started. I guess it’s a sign that I’m moving up the ladder” ~ Hugh Jackman

It is impossible to get everyone to see your side – accept that. The more you run around like a headless chicken to clarify your stance the more you will feel defeated. Rumors gain momentum faster than the speed of light. Not caring what everyone thinks will be the best choice you will ever make. 

Chin up, Keep Smiling,

Love,

Anu

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12 thoughts on “Heard a rumor about yourself which made your blood boil? Find out how to deal with Rumors!!

  1. Oumed says:

    Dude I went to the same trouble like you..it criple my life entirely .. Before people to am mentally crazy because they saw me at the beach lonely and some thought am gay because I have a best friend who I taller though little sort like that .. Am went furious about these rumour and made me feel to look for revenge..

  2. Cheyenne says:

    Howdy!
    I really needed this! Rumors were started bout me and my fiance today, and I went full off on the people who started it and got in a fight with them. Have a feelin I’m gonna regret that. Shoulda walked off, but I’m hotheaded.

    • Reacting and acknowledging them will not make them stop, infact it will only feed it. Just make sure your inner circle knows the truth, thats all that matters. Good luck and dont worry, soon they will move on to something else 🙂

  3. Caramia Montana says:

    People react to a stimulus. People they spread NASTY RUMORS about are the ones they envy and the lies they tell are really about themselves. . Always remember how a person sees others is a REFLECTION if THEMSELVES. Always ENJOY LIFE as it is to SHORT.

  4. Steve J says:

    Hi
    I’m going through a Nightmare situation at the moment, buls**t rumours that are crippling me mentally. I want to scream at the idiots that are spreading them but they say things under their breath as I’m passing or in a whisper having me question myself onto thinking did I hear what I thought I heard or am I losing the plot. Your post is a good one and it has made me look at their lives a little bit. I can’t see what the hell I’ve done to deserve this I do have confidence issues and maybe come across as a bit wierd now and again but I’m a genuine decent person who tries to do right by others and the worse thing is not only are the rumours unfounded but totally against my principles as a person.

    • I have been in your situation and can totally relate to it. I would suggest beat them with kindness, dont fall to their level. Just focus on getting being extremely good at what you do. That will shut them up, they should not define you! Good luck, and glad to know my post helped!

  5. untrue says:

    A rumour regarding my sexual activities was spread about me in middle school. I ignore it and keep ignoring it but it gets worse and worse. Now everyone in my surrounding cities know and everyone thinks I am a huge slut. I get called things like “whore”, “slut”, “skank” every day I walk out onto the streets. Every time I find a new job, my coworkers eventually hear of this rumour and start giving me dirty looks and uttering slurs every time I walk past them. I don’t know what to do anymore because I don’t know who started the rumour, it seems like everyone is involved and sometimes it makes me feel like I’m actually guilty. This rumour has been going around for years and to this day I still am not sure what it is.

    • Something similar happened to me, it is difficult to know who spread it or why and how. (This is what i did) I suggest focus on yourself, instead of getting bogged down by them, become the best at whatever you do – your job, fitness, health, hobbies, your passion etc. once they see you are getting good at life and seem happy, unaffected the rumors wont be fun anymore. If its reallllly getting out of hand, may be you could find a fresh start in a different location. Hang on to your genuine close friends gand family. Good luck! And take very good care of yourself!♥️

  6. paula young says:

    Hello.. This is long but to make this post as short as I can. I had a “best” friend for over 25 years and our families were close.. I have been divorced for over 24 years. My friend and her husband lived a very royal lifestyle with trips, mansion, cars, etc. then there world collapsed and she had to go work in Texas in an oil field to pay on the bills. He worked out of state as an engineer for last 5 yrs, their daughter died also at the age of 29. Anyway, some months ago my friend’s husband contacted me that she was having an affair with a 26 yr. old and she never told me for months. When she did tell me I tried to encourage her to make the marriage work but said she would never go back to her husband; when he filed for a divorce recently; she has told her family and friends that I know that we were seeing each other and have had an affair for like past 10 years. She won’t let it go. I’ve had one of her friends text me about it and I told her the truth we never have or will “see” each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. She explicits narcissism in her behavior and will not stop spreading the rumors! I have stayed quiet and so has her husband who lives 8 hour drive from my home. We talk on occasion but he says she will never let it go thinking we were “together”. I’m hurt and angry that a person who I thought was my “best” friend would spread such rumors. How do deal with this individual and when will the friends and family she spreads the rumors to STOP listening to her….? Thanks for the advice…

    • Thank you for sharing. I see this as more of her problem than yours. If your conscience is clear and you have made every attempt to clear her doubts and she still doesnt choose to believe you, then you need to let it go. Ask to meet her one last time and offer her proof of your innocence proactively like text messages, call records etc. And tell her that when she realises one day that it wasn’t true, you will be ready to talk. U cant do much about tongues wagging, coz everyone loves gossip. Keep ur loved ones close who believe you and try to block the outside chatter, they will soon move on to something else. Hope this helps, good luck!

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