Does RESPECT mean just being decorated with honorary titles, bowing your head, following the norms, worshipping someone or agreeing with everything someone says because you respect them or they respect you? I feel the word ‘RESPECT’ is extensively abused and the most mechanically applied emotion. People say “I respect you!” at the drop of a hat or expect to be respected without earning it.
Most often there are signs of disrespect all over the place. Few are glaringly obvious while some are subtle, masked in manipulative behaviors. The subtle signs are difficult to recognize but have a slow and lasting effect. There is a huge difference between fearing and respecting an individual. Fear can be easily instilled but not respect. People often confuse fear with respect although they are as different as chalk and cheese.
12 SIGNS YOU ARE BEING DISRESPECTED!
We all get angry and experience frustrating moments in our lives. We tend to lash out and say hurtful things to our loved ones during heated arguments. It is only natural but if someone is constantly badgering you – not acknowledging the damage being caused and not making any effort to change, you need to wake up and recognize the fact that you are being disrespected.
AT NO GIVEN POINT IS PHYSICAL/SEXUAL ABUSE ACCEPTABLE! PERIOD! I cannot stress enough. Do not take a beating lying down, if you do – it will repeat! No matter what happens it is not okay to be physically and sexually abused! Do not try to find reasons to justify their behavior. There is absolutely nothing that justifies it!
If someone always wants to control every aspect of your life and does not trust you enough to make your own decisions then they do not respect your abilities as a person. If your loved one’s trust and respect you they will want you to have your own experiences in life so that you can learn from them. They will always encourage you and be there to support you. They will not instill fear and negativity even before you take the first step towards making an effort. Respect equals freedom.
If you are being forced to do anything against your will, it is one of the highest forms of disrespect. Clearly, they have no empathy or regard for your feelings or likes and dislikes. Someone who cares and respects you will never put you in such a position.
BREAKING YOUR BOUNDARIES
Everyone must respect and abide by each other’s personal boundaries whatever they may be. Someone who is uninvited and pokes their nose in your chartered territory inspite of you being extremely vocal about it has no regard for the limits you set.
BELITTLES YOUR BELIEFS/OPINIONS
A person who respects you will always agree to disagree. They don’t have to believe or agree with your point of view but they must allow you to have your own and respect it even if it is different from theirs.
This one is a no-brainer. Even though the person may love, care or want you in your life but if they lie or cheat on you, they absolutely don’t respect you. I know there are a million reasons why people cheat and lie but sneaking around doing things behind your back is extremely upsetting and disrespectful. An honest person gathers the courage to say the truth and then deals with the consequences.
THEY DON’T LISTEN!
No matter what you say and how right or valuable your advice is, they always give you a deaf ear. They don’t acknowledge your feelings and always run from confrontation, become silent or talk you down. You always feel like you can’t get anything through them and communicating with them is such a harrowing task. They constantly interrupt you when it is your turn to talk and won’t let you complete what you want to say. They make you feel ‘Stupid’.
ALWAYS TURN THE TABLES ON YOU
No matter what the situation is they always turn the tables on you. They justify their behavior until the end of time and don’t shy away from making it all your fault every single time. They don’t listen or give you a chance to explain your side of the story. Even if you do express they make it all about how irrational or unreasonable you are for having unrealistic expectations and totally invalidate your feelings. You are never able to freely communicate and sometimes choose to keep quiet to avoid conflict.
THEY ARE NEVER THERE FOR YOU
Don’t we all have people in our lives who take a whole lot from you but very conveniently do not invest much back into the relationship? They are quick to lean on you for support, advice, and help but are never really there when you need them and have excuses ready at the tip of their tongue. They are never attentive to your needs and always make you feel guilty for asking for too much even though you aren’t.
Backbiters have no courage to come and say things to your face. They talk behind your back and spread rumors. If they genuinely care and respect you they will first come to you rather than talk behind your back. Genuine people address the issue head-on and give you honest feedback even if it is sometimes hard for them to do so.
BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY IN PUBLIC
Did you ever come across someone who is very sweet and caring when you are alone with them but totally change colors in public? They act like you embarrass them and try to hide the fact that they have been spending a lot of time with you lately. They totally shoot down your opinions in front of others and make you feel stupid and not pay as much attention as they should be. Such people are basically just using you for their own needs. They feel they are far too superior to be seen with you.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO – IT IS NEVER ENOUGH!
No matter what you do for them you always get a feeling it is not enough. They never appreciate anything you ever do or even pay attention to know that you are trying your best. Whether it is an achievement at work and all you are looking for is to hear “I am proud of you” and a pat on the back. Maybe you try to change certain behavioral traits they are unhappy with. Try to make them feel good about themselves by being appreciative and holding their hand through difficult situations. They just don’t value your efforts, always take you for granted and it just seems like a bottomless pit of selfishness.
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Disrespect comes in various forms and is very subjective to each individual. It happens in such a sneaky manner that you don’t realize you are giving them the leeway to treat you like this unknowingly. The more you put up with these behaviors you are letting them disrespect you. It also comes from a place within you where you don’t respect yourself enough to feel you deserve better. We sometimes lack the confidence to stand up for ourselves.
You must be genuinely self-assured and know exactly what you can and cannot put up with. Everything starts and ends with self-respect. Respect is a 2-way street, it can never be commanded it must be earned. I think it’s more difficult to earn respect than to earn money.
Always put yourself first and have high self-esteem. Don’t waste time on people who are not worth it and always know you deserve more. If you are the one treating someone disrespectfully then you need to do a self-check and reflect if you would like someone to treat you the same way. Every choice you make to ignore or fight inappropriate actions towards you will determine how others treat you.
What you sow is what you shall reap. Love and respect yourself and you will automatically not put up with unacceptable behavior. Stand up for yourself because no one else will. Respect is an emotion that invokes from within. It naturally comes into play when you truly admire someone for their abilities – IT CAN NOT BE FORCED OR BOUGHT!
If you don’t respect yourself enough that’s when others start disrespecting you. You can not force someone to respect you but you can definitely refuse to be disrespected!