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Does Love Win Over Everything After All?

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This is a story about love! Love winning over everything! Is it true that “LOVE” is all you need in life? I am uncertain of the answer to that question but this couple’s story might give you a different perspective.

This is a story of Andy and Ana. They requested me to not share their real identity as being anonymous would help them be more transparent. It was more important for them to share their story. If you read further on, you will probably get a better idea why they want to remain anonymous. The names are not real – But their story is real! Their pain is real! Their victory is real! Who knows they might give hope to all the lovers out there who are on the verge of giving up!

Andy is actually my high school buddy. I remember him as a shy, intelligent and decent boy. He was mischievous as far as I recollect but always a good boy. He was the kinda guy who would have a silent crush on a girl for years and yet not say a word.  He was a very bright student as well. He would often get punished at the cost of his friends but always took it very light-heartedly. We never spoke after high school up until now but remained friends on Facebook. Continue reading “Does Love Win Over Everything After All?”

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Heroes Story 1 – The Woman Who Came From Hell and Back !

****Image is for representation purposes only****

This is a story about a rock chick named Catherine. She is one of those few people you meet in life and get instantly impressed with. She has an amazing positive aura, a smile as bright as the sun, pretty eyes and wrinkles around them which give you a sneak peek into her wisdom and strength. She has the most beautiful silver hair neatly tied in a bun. She is almost 65 years old – I know a woman shouldn’t be talking about her age so openly but when I asked her she said she is proud to be still standing at the age of 65 – happy and thankful.

I knew nothing about her story when I met her but still instantly started liking her. She was so easy to talk to. Compassionate and kind, listening to me go on about my life. I never share personal details about my life so easily but found myself telling her things I never usually discuss with people I just meet. She seemed genuinely interested and had a knowing smile on her face – I guess because my problems seemed so minuscule compared to the experiences she had in her life. There I was telling her about my dating life or how I don’t believe love exists anymore. Talking to her about wanting to do more in life but not finding the time. Telling her it is such a pain to grow up and the never ending responsibilities that come with it. She gave me advice which was simple yet effective coming from a real place, full of practicality.

I am not going to share how I met her because that could disclose her identity. I do not remember how we dwelled into a more deeper conversation. Her story shook and moved me from within. I could not believe my eyes that she is this person today even after what she went through! So here goes the story of my lovely Catherine!

Catherine was born and brought up in Houston, Texas. She lost her parents at a very young age and was being taken care of by her uncle. When she was 12 years old her uncle started touching her inappropriately. Her own paternal uncle whom she looked up to as a father figure – her only relative in this world. It was subtle at first but as she grew into her teens, her lecherous uncle could not control himself. He raped her the first time when she was 14. Back then she was really innocent and naïve. It took her a long time to understand what was happening with her. All she remembered was feeling numb and at the same time in so much pain. This horrendous torture went on for years until she completed her education and moved out. Her uncle grew old and with God’s mercy did not have the energy to pursue her further. I am not going to share the details of this horrible and inhuman experience because I want to fiercely protect Catherine’s respect and dignity. Hence there will no sharing of pictures or full name will be given out in this story. The picture in the post is for representation purposes only.

I am amazed that Catherine could even complete her education and pass with flying colors. She began her successful career as an environmentalist and focussed all her energy into work. She was hard-working and dynamic. She dated men but could never fully open up to them. She was the one everyone wanted but could never get. She was always dressed elegantly and carried herself with poise. The only time her pain came out was when she went for therapy and her therapist was her best friend – the only one she could trust. She told me that men thought she was hard to get but in reality, she was just trying to find herself. She soared in her career. Finally, at the age of 50 she met the love of her life. She told me that until then she never felt so much affection for anyone else as she did for him. Alan was a divorcee and was head over heels in love with Catherine. He pursued her for a year. Catherine had this huge smile on his face while talking about him. She said “I made him work for it”

She had almost given up on finding love. How many people meet their soulmate at the age of 50?! He proposed her many times but she kept postponing it until finally after 2 years she said “YES”! They had a beautiful marriage and enough money for their old age post retirement. They planned to travel the world. They had their sweet Sunday morning ritual where Alan would make her pancakes – it is her favorite😊 They did this everyday till they were together.

One morning Alan was watching a soccer game. Catherine was in the other room talking to her neighbor when she heard a loud thud.  As she ran across the hall she saw Alan on the floor. She immediately called 911 but she already knew he was gone. He suffered a major stroke and passed away on the spot. Catherine was in shock .. he was just watching the soccer game a few minutes ago! The paramedics were trying to revive Alan and Catherine just stood there- her world coming to a standstill.

I can never imagine in seven lifetimes what she went through that morning. Many years have passed since and she told me that all this made her stronger, positive and taught her to be a better human being. How does someone be so optimistic after going through hell and back since her childhood? She overcame losing her parents, undergoing years of sexual abuse, stigma from society, being single till 50, losing the love of her life and is not survived by anyone. She is such a huge inspiration to me. Here I was cribbing about my petty little problems and she had already fought a war and how!

Most women would give up if so many challenging and earth-shaking events hit them one after the other. Till date she works for the better of society, she lives in the fond memories of her and Alan, looks like a million bucks (makes sure of it) and has this amazing energy around her. Catherine still believes in true love. The years she spent with Alan is the best time of her life as he showered her with so much love – the love she never got which healed all her wounds. I asked her if she had any regrets in life and she said “YES, just one –  I should have married Alan earlier”

Kudos to you Catherine. You are truly my hero and you are one of the most thoughtful, genuine and warm people I have ever met. Thank you for sharing your priceless life experiences with me. I am sure you are going to inspire so many women who are on the verge of giving up.

Chin up,

Keep Smiling,

Love,

Anu

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Diary of Single Women! Thank You – Not! You Judgmental Bunch !

I think after being a single woman for a while, I am amused, surprised, annoyed, exasperated and very motivated to finally write about this! What am I talking about? I am talking about the way the world perceives us ‘SINGLE WOMEN’. This is not some feminist article or me shouting from the rooftops about equal rights for women. This is about plain practical common sense.

I met a friend of a close relative lately. He must be twice my age. He was being friendly and cracking harmless jokes. He seemed like a decent old guy. I was polite, smiled, answered his questions and that’s all! That truly all it was from my end! I forgot about the entire conversation and moved on with my life.  I think I would have a better memory of an ant crawling on the floor than about the conversation with him. A few days later he started texting and asking me out, commenting on my pictures and automatically assumed I gave him ‘Those Signals’ and that I am attracted to him physically. Whereas I just had a normal respectful conversation with someone who I thought was elder to me. It just blew my mind! What kind of demented antenna did he have to receive such absurd signals?! I wish I could share his picture with you guys so that you could see how bizarre his assumption of just this one conversation was! Continue reading “Diary of Single Women! Thank You – Not! You Judgmental Bunch !”

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Heard a rumor about yourself which made your blood boil? Find out how to deal with Rumors!!

If you have ever been subject to nasty rumors, you would know that they are more than just a juicy piece of gossip. There is a huge difference between rumors and gossip. Rumors can be extremely damaging to a person’s mental and emotional well-being. Gossip is just entertaining news, often not intended to cause serious harm. I was subjected to very nasty rumors all throughout high school. It started off as idle gossip which snowballed into a major web of lies, with exaggerated details, gory descriptions of imaginary situations which just turned into an ugly mess.

I was way too young and immature to even understand what hit me. I have never spoken about this before except to my near and dear ones. After a point, it just became impossible for me to go and clarify it to everyone. It just spread like wildfire. It altered my personality and haunted me for the longest time. It affected my confidence and I kept my interaction limited to a very few people. Whoever I spoke to or wherever I went, I felt they all knew about the lies spread about me and are judging me away to glory even though they probably weren’t even thinking about it. I could not enter a room with my head held high without the fear of being scrutinized. Fortunately, I found rock solid support in my family and friends and that pulled me through. Continue reading “Heard a rumor about yourself which made your blood boil? Find out how to deal with Rumors!!”

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Love-Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day? Do something different this year!


Do you have a Love-Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day? Maybe you are happy or miserably single. Maybe you are blissfully committed or in a dead relationship which has lost it’s spark. Perhaps you are in a ‘no strings attached’ relationship. Whatever is your story there is so much pressure and hype around Valentine’s Day, right?

For ‘Committed Folks’ – to make it an unforgettable romantic experience. For ‘Singles’ to find a Date and be ready for all the love, cuddles, PDA and mushiness to be rubbed right in your face! Social media, friends, malls, TV, movies, songs, food and possibly everywhere you look is a constant reminder of what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Your relationship status sticks out like a sore thumb. The poor ‘Singles’ are forced to feel lonelier than any other day of the year. For some reason, it seems like everyone is compensating for the things they didn’t do in the last 364 days.

I have to confess whether single or committed I have always been PRO-Valentine’s! I mean why not?! A special day to express love – I can’t see anything wrong with it. We all know we can’t treat all days as Valentine’s day and be lovey dovey all the time- that just wouldn’t work. We would probably feel smothered and not value it enough.

A lot of people dislike Valentine’s Day especially the ‘Singles’ and I don’t blame them. The most Cliché advice for Singles on V-Day is – pamper yourself, go shopping, eat your favorite ice cream and what not. I think that’s too much ME ME ME! When you do these things all by yourself (specially on V-Day) you probably feel the lack of a special someone a bit more than usual. 

 It’s all in the way you look at it. Why not reinvent Valentine’s this year?! Maybe this ‘One Day’ you don’t think about what you want, how you feel, blame people for disappointing you and have any kind of expectations. For a change, you make this day all about the people you love. It could be anyone – your mom, your best friend, your pet or just a kind selfless act for a stranger who least expects it from you. Ah! that twinkle in their eye – will be the best reward!

If you are single -Yes, you will feel lonely, you will want someone to pamper you, love you, care for you. I know that V-Day is right in your face, breathing on your neck and churning your stomach. You are OD’ing on Valentine’s Love which reminds you of everything you don’t have right now. Trust me it is so much better than being with someone who is half there, who technically qualifies as your better half but makes you feel miserable. It is also so much better to wait for the right person and be alone now than to waste your time being sad. Feel what you have to feel but dust it off! The sun always rises after a dark night. Instead of wasting your energy in feeling sorry for yourself why not invest it into making someone happy?

You know what happens when you constantly stare at one spot, right? The background is blurred. Similarly, when you focus only on the kind of love you do not have – the abundant love that you do have in your life is blurred too. 

For the Committed Folks – renew your love for each other. Appreciate and be grateful for this wonderful person in your life. This Valentine’s Day try to focus on everything they did you for you rather than what they didn’t. Even if it isn’t your fault, make the first move – do something nice for your better half and don’t expect anything in return.

For a change, don’t make V-Day about yourself. Make it only about people you love. Won’t you have the biggest smile on your face if someone did something for you? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

If nothing, then just resolve to become a more loveable person and for that, you must get rid of any kind negativity and doubt. Forgive your exes and let go of any grudge you have towards them. Determine to have compassion for even those people who are a pain in your neck. Express and appreciate people who deserve it but you never got around saying it out loud to them. Try to focus on the good in people and less on the bad and most importantly – to love yourself a little more.

I am not going to tell you to buy chocolates for yourself or go to the spa or shopping! You know why? Because as much as Valentines is about love – it makes you feel that much more unloved. So why not spend it with people who love you unconditionally? So if you are single or unhappily committed – It’s ok Darling! It’s just another day! Why concentrate on finding only romantic love – look around –there is happiness and love everywhere, just open your mind to it. If you still can’t feel it – give me a shoutout! I will remind you of how lovable you are!

Don’t be that person who covers up his/her own bitterness and loneliness by pretending to be strong and belittles this day. The truth is you would LOVE for someone to do something ridiculously cheesy and romantic for you, whether you admit or not.

I know you are not a Saint but give it a go! It’s just one day! Trust me it’s much more rewarding than feeling sorry for yourself.

To Do List this Valentine’s Day 2017:

  • DON’T WALLOW IN SELF-PITY
  • DON’T SETTLE FOR ANYONE JUST BECAUSE IT’S V-DAY
  • BE SELFLESS AND MAKE AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON HAPPY
  • LOVE YOURSELF 

Happy Valentine’s Day You Sexy Bunch! Keep Smiling!

Chin up,

Love,

Anu

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Dating Troubles?? Then read this right now!!

In today’s time and age finding the right partner is extremely challenging. We all get thoughts that maybe we will turn into skeletons waiting for our so-called ‘THE ONE’

The whole universe of you liking someone and they liking you back is a well-played game and yeah it’s a twisted one. Hope this helps everyone out there because I learnt it the hard way by over complicating things, dating some not so mentionable people and losing sleep ..OH my precious sleep !! So not worth it!

Continue reading “Dating Troubles?? Then read this right now!!”

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In Love with the Right One?

 

We resolve a million times to stay away from toxic people, situations and relationships and yet slowly find ourselves getting weaker and crawling back into same mess time and again. Sound familiar?

This goes out to all of you who have based your worth over the approval/validation of others and may not even realize it. Mind you, there is no magic formula. These are things which helped me fall in love with the ‘RIGHT ONE‘ and you know who that is? IT’S ME! I know right! There she goes again about the same beaten to death cliché of loving yourself. It is a ‘CLICHÉ’ because it is a tried and tested success formula to be able to give yourself much more than you deserve.

But the question is HOW DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? Especially when someone just made you feel unwanted, rejected, less of yourself and unworthy of what you are asking. The hardest thing is to stand up for yourself when no one else does.  Continue reading “In Love with the Right One?”

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